


I Always Think I’m Over Him

by wistfulpisces



Series: 221 Word Drabbles [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, POV John Watson, Pining, Pining John, i guess, intentional overuse of the word ‘and’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 00:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulpisces/pseuds/wistfulpisces
Summary: John wishes he could stop wanting more with his best friend, but it seems like every time he almost does, Sherlock somehow pulls him back into his yearning.





	I Always Think I’m Over Him

I always think I’m over him.

He’s snarky and carelessly rude to me, and I frown and swallow down how much it hurts with the too-close scent of his cologne. And then I go upstairs and I think about it and think about it, and I turn it over and over in my head the way I toss when visions of desert plains steal my slumber. And it hurts more than it should. And I tell myself I won’t let it anymore.

But I can’t make it stop; I can’t control it anymore. Maybe I could have a long time ago, when these feelings were just suspicion and the possibility still existed in superstition, but now… but now I know better. Or at the very least, I should.

I wish I could stop the way that everything circles back to him. And I’m running and running but I keep tripping over my thoughts and looking over my shoulder and he’s there — how is he always still there? — with eyes like electricity, boring through me, and it’s only too late that I realise he’s my destination, too. And I’m not really running — or if I am, it’s on a treadmill, with no spatial goal other than where I am already.

And it hurts. And I should make it stop.

But I can’t.


End file.
